Independence is paramount in a relationship. Sounds contradictory but the fact remains that prior to meeting the person that is currently in your life you developed your likes, dislikes, core values, and a whole host of other things all on your own. So why should you shelf yourself just because…
Everywhere you go, laughter and comedy ensue. This would be great if you were trying to be funny. You are deeply confused by the idea of sex. As far as you are concerned, if it didn’t happen in “The Velveteen Rabbit”, it doesn’t exist. Piscean women wear long floaty dresses and enormous amounts of unusual silver jewelry. On hikes. Pisceans claim to love the stars, but the only constellation they can find is the Big Dipper. If they cannot find it, they cry. You remember what you were wearing on March 3rd, 1981 but forget your own address. You have no sense of direction. The people you find going in reverse at 70 m.p.h. on the expressway are usually Pisceans. Pisceans are most likely to die by falling out of a window or getting run over by a truck. That is, of course, unless they live with a Cancer. Pisceans are so zoned and perpetually endangered that they can bring out the maternal instincts of a Leo. Don’t be fooled, however; many Pisceans can surprise you by kicking your ass and the asses of your four imaginary friends. While Leos tend to achieve the most fame in the field of entertainment, Pisceans strive to achieve historical greatness by sheer fluke. They are proud to tell you that Michelangelo, Galileo, George Washington, and Albert Einstein, none of whom had an agent, were all Pisceans. What they won’t tell you is that so is Ted Kennedy. Pisceans claim to want “honest criticism” of their work. Then they commit hara-kiri on the floor when you say you don’t like it. Never try to use logic with a Pisces; he or she is living about three feet off of the natural ground or in Narnia. Their tools of debate are non-sequiturs, quotes from Elizabeth Barrett Browning, and, of course, crying. It wouldn’t matter what linguistic devices Pisceans use to describe philosophical concepts because they aren’t positive they know what they’re talking about anyway. You cry over dead animals in the road but feel no remorse about mowing down humans you don’t like. Cancerians say one thing and do another. Scorpios say one thing and do it just for spite. Pisceans say far too much and do whatever the hell they want.
I feel like Ive lost myself. I dont feel that I exude the goofy happiness and an adventurous spirit like I once did. I want to get back to exploring, living my dreams. Living life. Not sitting in bed each day wondering what happened, wallowing in my own self pity when I’m the one who controls it. I want to have purpose, goals, drive, all the things I once had that made me such a valuable person in my own eyes. And thats what I care about most, how I see myself. How I feel about my own life, and if am I living it the way that I had invisioned. I feel like when im with someone, I lose sight of my own ambitions, focusing to much on them and forgetting that I too have a life to live. I get too invested, and too lost in their world, and lose total sight of my own, to the point where I dont even see me, and im sure if I dont see myself, then im not showing people the me I want them to see. Im lost. I want to live again. I will live again. I will find myself.
"I have this dream of being whole. Of not going to sleep each night, wanting. But still sometimes, when the wind is warm or the crickets sing… I dream of a love that even time will lie down and be still for. I just want someone to love me. I want to be seen."
"The Infinity within, the infinite capability or power is unchangeable, immutable. How can the Infinity die? That never dies. Through ignorance you call yourself the body; the body you are not. You are the infinite power, the divinity; the constant immutable, unchangeable One. That you are; know that and you find yourself inhabiting the whole world, inhabiting the whole universe."